Unexpected Treasures

Perhaps little known fact:  Obscura LOVES a deal!   Just for the record:  I am not cheap. (yes SIL…I’m talking to you)  I am frugal, and there is a difference.  I will pay for top quality goods, but I worked in retail for years, and Obscura does not pay retail except as a last resort.  (note to self:  reading Caesar results in referring to oneself in the 3rd person repeatedly – avoid in future.)  My adoration for the fantastically frugal find often leads me to thrift shops.  This weekend, MiniMe was in the in the market for a new Columbia fleece.  Unlike her brother, she notices labels, and in our area, Columbia is a desirable logo for 4th grade outerwear.

Retail price:  $36

Retail price: $36


Thus, I considered it a gonga deal when I found one, basically in new condition, at a local thrift shop for the bargain price of $3.50…and it was even the right color and fit perfectly:  SCORE!!  Little did I know that the real treasure was waiting to be found.

When MiniMe stuck her hands in the pockets to perform a smart pivot turn and show me the back, she found something. Returning to front, she held out a many folded piece of white paper.  I unfolded it to find the most extraordinary document.  After a cursory glance, MiniMe wandered off to find my mother and commence negotiations on a few things she had her eye one (we affectionately call her Monty Hall since she always wants to make a deal.)  

I stuck the letter in my pocket to read later.  What at first glance was a note written between besties turned out to be one of the most moving things I’ve read in a long time…full of the effortlessly sage-like wisdom of twelve year olds.  I give you, “Bunnies Laws”:

I don't know Brensley, Anna or Siera personally

I don’t know Brensley, Anna or Sierra personally…to my great regret!

Written at the shocking hour of 3:43 am early in what I presume to be the summer vacation between 7th and 8th grade, I about died laughing at the first line on what appears to be a friendship pact between a group of peri-adolescents – a girl code.  Apart from stipulating the guidelines of relationships with the much coveted Ryan, a couple of things really stood out to me:

4.  If Ryan breaks one of our adorable hearts another person (Anna or Brensley) may go out with him to get payback 😉  (well Sierra, I guess we now know who’ll be asking who about dating Ryan post breakup!)

5.  We all must stay friends, no matter what.

6.  Stay true to yourself

8.  Stick up for each other if the person gets picked on

9.  Consult each other if you hear something from another person

The bits about Ryan are adorable in the extreme, but the sentiment in the middle is powerful.  These are girls who in 2012 were embarking on a really huge transitional phase in their lives and attempting to weather the storm together.  As much as they all seem to desire Ryan, it’s clear that their mutual friendship means more to them than Ryan or any other external source that threatens to undermine it openly or otherwise.  It’s an affirmation of sisterhood…that they are more a like than they are different, and that they should cherish their common bond above all.

Today these girls are sophomores in high school…amid constantly shifting sands.  I wondered a lot of things after I found this document.  Showbiz Son is a sophomore in high school.  I wonder if he knows these girls?  I wonder if he knows the sought after Ryan?  (I know for sure that he is NOT Ryan 😉  )  Most of all I wonder if they were able to maintain the bonds articulated in their pact…especially to “Stay true to yourself” and “stay friends, no matter what.”

As the Armitageworld is once again embroiled in the Mini-Storm of the Moment, I wonder if things would ever go down differently if we could all employ the wisdom of the Bunnies Law a little more often.

14 comments on “Unexpected Treasures

  1. Servetus says:

    I wonder how they did with “stay true to yourself.”

  2. katie70 says:

    As a mom of all boys I find this interesting. I know that son2 don’t know these girls as they live to far away but he also is a sophomore. I agree about knowing ones self. Even as adults we keep changing, so ones self keeps changing.

    • obscura says:

      I was thinking more about “staying true to yourself,” and reflecting that my biggest challenge here as an adult is balancing the needs of my *self* with the needs of others.

      I was raised with the distinct message to put self behind the needs of others. As a general rule, I do…kids, job, charity, etc., but what I’ve realized is that while this is great a lot of the time, there are other times when looking out for #1 needs to move to the front. It’s not selfISH, it’s self CARE.

      • Servetus says:

        Yes, absolutely. This was something I was thinking around the turn of 2013 to 2014, that is not kind and compassionate to put the needs of people in front of mine who will never, ever think of doing the same in their own lives. (I think it’s a misunderstanding of some important lessons of Xty due to the constitution of its ideas within patriarchy.) Giving in all the time is not ethical or virtuous.

        • obscura says:

          I also have found that it is a bumpy road retraining people who’ve come that I will immediately capitulate now because I have in the past (somwtimes to my great detriment)

          • Servetus says:

            SO true. Not with me, not any more is a hard lesson to be telling people. Especially people you love.

          • obscura says:

            Particularly when you have to live with them 24/7 🙂

          • Servetus says:

            What I wonder, in contrast (I know why I wanted to please the people I love and who love me), is why I ever worried about pleasing people I don’t know.

          • obscura says:

            Good question. I do have this sort Austen-like concern about people being out there in the world, “thinking ill of me” at times

      • katie70 says:

        I think that mom’s and more so women but the needs of others first and themselves last. I know I have for many years, only since my 40’s have I thought about myself without feeling shame. There are times that I still feel like there is to much on my plate then I realize that everyone else needs to help out too. Maybe that is one reason I like schoolwork, I need to do it and they need to help out. I think that this will help my boys become better men, they will learn that women are not there to do everything. Their dad is a great role model for them also.

  3. linnetmoss says:

    This is very touching. And kudos to you on the great bargain! I am lusting after that fleece 🙂

    • obscura says:

      I thought it was awfully sweet. I hear a lot about “mean girls” and their playground maneuvers, so its nice to see some signs of solidarity!

      Those Columbia fleece are very cozy…although, more inner that outerwear at the moment 🙂

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