Verbum Latinum Hodie: Cupiditas

Before I get started, I should probably remark on how long it’s been since I’ve posted on this blog…so long that WordPress seems to have initiated a whole new post format.  At first glance?  Not a big fan.  Pfft.

pfft

Today’s, or rather yesterday’s Latin word of the day, cupiditas is a feminine noun meaning a longing or desire.  The usage of cupiditas can lean to the positive and refer to a longing for something harmless, but more frequently, it seems to teeter the opposite direction and is paired with overwhelming carnal passions or obsessive desire for wealth.

The notion of longing in general has been pretty close to the surface in me the last few days…

After a slip and fall last week, I have a cupiditas to put on a sock without wincing in discomfort.

The week has been consumed with drafting the class schedule for the 2017-18 academic year.  In the process of digging for something schedule related, I came across a handwritten draft of an epilogue for my John Porter fanfic, Recovery.  I have a magna cupiditas to finally complete that, and to get back to some recreational writing in general.

porter guns

Look at that gun…and I’m not talkin’ about the rifle!

Veering to the less than positive side of the word, having spent a good bit of time out and about with my fellow man in the last week, I have developed a maxima cupiditas to smack the next person who lets a door fly closed in my face, stops dead without warning in traffic, or cuts in front of me at the deli counter.  Honestly, what has happened to just plain basic courtesy lately?!  I offered to walk an elderly woman’s shopping cart back to the “cart corral” at Target the other day and she was so grateful you’d have thought I’d done her some huge service – actually, I thought the greater “service” on my part was my not asking out loud why she had had a poodle strapped into the baby seat of that same cart.  I admit to a cupiditas for a time when common courtesy wasn’t so very uncommon.

Richard Armitage Of "The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey" Photo Session

Mr. Rogers a la Richard Armitage Photo by George Pimentel

Oh well, until such a day rolls around, I think I’ll just continue to nurture my laeta cupiditas that this guy is every bit as Mr. Roger-y  on the courtesy front as he looks here in one of my all time favorite shots.  🙂

I will not venture to comment on the other multitude of cupiditates this image evokes….*cough*   Next up, today’s Latin Word of the Day…ignis:  FIRE!

 

et alia – So you want to write RAcy fan fiction? Potius sero quam numquam: Preach Livy!

It has been nine months since I posted the last completed chapter of my John Porter/Strikeback fan fiction Recovery on AO3, and coming up on TWO YEARS since I originally wrote and posted it on Dreamer Fiction…Livy is so right…

Potius sero quam numquam:  

better late than never!

The story where I left it, could stand as complete, but I had always intended to return to it to add a final epilogue to tie up a few loose ends.  Lately, I’ve wondered if I would be able to return to it after leaving the characters languishing so long.  It’s not as if I haven’t thought about how I wanted to close the story, and what I wanted to say, it’s just that available time and proper inspiRAtion haven’t seemed to coincide in the past 18 months.

porter smiling

What are you smiling about?

I’m happy to report that inspiRAtion and available time seemed to jell last week and I sat down and mapped out the first section of the epilogue.  Seems my worries about finding the characters again were unfounded.  When I started writing, it was something like reconnecting with an old friend – once the initial ice was broken, the “conversation” began to flow easily.  I’m hoping to have that epilogue posted by the end of January!

I haven’t decided if it should be mostly sweet, or more than a little spicy – any votes?

et alia: So you want to write RAcy fan fiction? Don’t be SAD…

I knew it had been a while since I’d posted a chapter update to my AU John Porter fan fiction effort, Recovery.  When I logged into the DreamerFiction today, I was horrified to see just how long it has really been.  My last update, Chapter 23, was posted on March 20…that’s two months ago!  Good grief!  I don’t think I’m alone in having felt the frustration of becoming invested in a multi chapter, complex story, only to find that the author abandoned it for one reason or another.    Fear not lectores, I will finish Recovery, and soon, but in the meantime, I’ve been thinking a little about what the hold up has been.

Just a regular day...

Just a regular day…

No doubt part of the problem is the ordinary average chaos that is my life.  Since mid March, there have been numerous additions to the regular mayhem.  First, my husband started a new job which required the Human Resources Manager (that would be me) to fill out a gogillion forms for various and sundry benefits and submit proof of the valid existence of myself and my children as related to the covered employee…my husband, their father.  (This process necessitated a visit to the courthouse to replace a missing birth certificate – I opted for the multiple copy bargain rate – just in case)  Also new to me was the intensive rehearsal and performance schedule of the in house thespian that occupied the theatrical agent and principle chauffeur (also me) for the first half of April.  Factor in the end of the academic year, grading and most recently a bout with some unspecified pestilence that first transformed Mini Me into a feverish, coughing semi invalid and has since left me with a largely inaudible squeak in place of a voice, and my lack of progress comes into focus.

I can’t credit my schedule for all of it though.  My life isn’t that much busier than it was when I started writing the story.  I found a way to shuffle things around before so that I was updating about every two weeks…what is the problem now?

Drafts...

Drafts…

Another part of the equation lies in my writing method.  Apart from blog posts, which I compose at the computer, my other writing all begins in handwritten form.  I’ve written like this forever.  If I try to sit down and compose from scratch at the computer, I end up drawing a complete blank and staring at the screen in a daze.  It’s a different story with paper and pen.  I usually sit down and start to outline…the bullet points at some stage broaden into paragraphs and dialogue.  Maybe it’s a tactile thing…I love the feel of fine paper and scratch of the pen across it’s surface.  I’ve found that I prefer gel pens since the ink dries quickly and doesn’t blob or smudge, and using a variety of colors allows me to make notes and edit as I go.  I have several notebooks, that I now carry along in my bookbag to keep them away from the curious,  which contain various chapters, chapter outlines and research notes.  I am much more productive when I can disconnect from everything for a couple of hours and just lose myself in the cadence of penning the story to paper.  I make corrections as I go along, but the transcription onto the computer serves as another stage of the editing process.    I’ve been writing like this for so long (since before the dawn of time…or at least the ubiquitous personal computer) that I didn’t realize that it was at all noteworthy until the subject came up in a conversation about gel pens between Servetus and me.  So there you go…my archaic little secret!   Interestingly, my son, a burgeoning writer himself, reports that he writes the same way – the nosy mother in me wonders where he keeps his notebooks stashed!

A rare-ish John Porter smile..Strikeback S1E4 Source:  www.richardarmitagenet.com (my crop)

A rare-ish John Porter smile..Strikeback S1E4
Source: http://www.richardarmitagenet.com (my crop)

While the opportunity and means to write certainly play a large part in my foot dragging end to Recovery, the more I think about it, the more I’m certain that there’s another factor in the mix.  I honestly think I’m suffering from a preemptive case of separation anxiety (SAD…not to be confused with SAD – Social Anxiety Disorder or SAD – Seasonal Affective Disorder.  Honestly acronym makers!)  I think that a part of me is reluctant to bring this story to a close because I’ve become really attached to the characters and I don’t want to let them go.  Be that as it may, I fully intend to finish Recovery.  My dear pal Guylty has helped me out with my missing SB DVD, so I have plenty of renewed inspiRAtion.  I wouldn’t be at all surprised though,  if there aren’t a few holiday vignettes in the hopper for John Porter and Lindsey Tate.

et alia: So you want to write racy fan fiction? OH THE FEELS!!

I have been having a devil of a time with the last few chapters of my Strikeback fan fic Recovery.  This time it’s not “choreography” or quiet time or plot details, but how to successfully convey “the feels”.  According to knowyourmeme.com,  the term *feels*

feelsWithout giving away any spoilers, my AU story of John Porter and his love interest Lindsey Tate has plowed into some deeply emotional territory, and strangely, although the whole thing comes from my imagination, I’m finding that I’m not immune to it’s tear jerking effect.

Yes, if you must know, I am! *sniffle*

Yes, if you must know, I am! *sniffle*

At the moment, I’m struggling a bit with how to adequately convey the deep emotions of the characters without descending into melodrama.  It’s not for lack of examples of how John Porter emotes.  Richard Armitage has a gift for expressing a wide range of feelings without uttering a single word – so much angst and concern!

How does he do that?

How does he do that?
Screen caps from http://www.richardarmitagenet.com

I guess there’s no help for it…I’ll just *have* to go back and watch Strikeback again to study these emotional scenes frame by frame for inspiRAtion!  (I should be sobbing through that emotional scene by the weekend!)