I know, I know…there’s all that first class travel to exciting destinations in fancy socks
and glamorous film premieres in designer duds…
Not to mention hobnobbing with royalty..
That is all pretty cool, but you have not truly lived until you have suited up for year two of the backyard bee bliztkrieg! We are not talking about our apis mellifera friends either…
No sir, the fuzzy honeybees are more than welcome Casa Obscura…pollinate, pollinate, pollinate.
In fact, there were reports of a more nefarious foe abuzz when I sent Showbiz out Sunday to mow the neighbor’s lawn. When I looked at him sideways for leaving it half done, he answered,
“Not doing it. BEES!”
In the bees’ defense, they are not the invaders. Nope. These are wasps…yellow jackets I think…nesting in a hole in the ground in my neighbor’s yard. This would be a problem for my neighbor if we didn’t take care of cutting the lawn for her. If you’re not aware, yellow jackets are plenty aggressive and will happily sting several times before retreating. They are particularly tetchy about defending their nests and will do so en masse if provoked. Evidently, they consider the lawnmower roaring over the entry to their nest a threat and react accordingly.
Both Showbiz and Hubs were casualties of last year’s assault…multiple stings both under and through clothing. Consequently, when I sent him out this year, the sight of any flying insect seems to have given Showbiz a flashback. Hubs, less perturbed by stingers, has been sidelined with a bum back. That leaves your’s truly to lead the charge.
I don’t like to be stung by insects either, but HERBA SECARANDA EST! So, I did some brief reconnaissance and despite identifying only one lonely bumblebee in the area, I headed out armed with my siege engines.
That’s right, it’s a pot – my brand new canning kettle to be exact. I used it to cover the main entrance to the apiary fortress and then proceeded to mow the area…keeping an eye out for defenders exiting through a postern gate. Having seen nothing in the twenty minutes it took me to cut the grass, once I’d put the mower away, I went back to retrieve my pot. I was listening for the sounds of angry buzzing and hard little bullet bodies hitting the metal sides, (and preparing to make a hasty retreat until nightfall if I heard anything). Nothing. Not a single bee, wasp, hornet or anything else came out of that hole. Evidently, they have decamped since last summer.
I stand victorious!! (I’m filling that thing in with dirt this weekend so Showbiz has no further excuse!)
So there you have it everyone…to call one’s life complete, one must have skulked about in one’s yard (in broad daylight no less) mowing and then tiptoeing around a giant pot defending against a non-existent hornet’s nest.
I hardly know what excitement will come next!
Ancient Armitage 