My Happy Place

Once upon a time Armitageworld was my happy place.  A place to while away some time chatting about RA…sometimes participating in more serious discussions sometimes just being silly.  The past year or so though, it seems as if there is one existential battle after another as the population and boundaries of the fandom shift.  This has led to some soul searching on my part. 

Just as I know that there are people and places which I avoid in real life, I know for a fact that there are places within the fandom that I have no desire to be part of.   I don’t expect that these places are likely, by some feat of magic…or words of Richard Armitage, to become more palatable to me, so I stay away.  If that means I miss “first run” news, so be it – if I’ve learned anything in my nearly three year residence it’s that the majority of “news” is plastered from one end of the land to the other incredibly quickly, so I’m never in the dark for long.

Basically, I decided a while ago that to keep my happy place happy for me, I’d simply need to stay away from certain  “neighborhoods” whose Armitageworld view differed widely from mine.  Mostly it works for me.

Right now, my happy place is really important to me, as my real life is in a seemingly constant cycle of struggle and pain interspersed by anxiety and fear.  I need the happy place to be a happy place and part of that is maintaining, at least in part, my personal interpretation of Richard Armitage…a fact that has been shown in sharp relief as the dust settles from latest existential episode.

Just to be clear…I don’t believe that Richard Armitage is a saint or even a perfect human…( Frankly, I don’t believe that such a creature exists –  we are all flawed in some way or another.) or that he has an infallible moral compass.

I do believe that he’s fully capable of hearing that not everyone loved his latest selfie without deleting his Twitter account in a pique and taking to his bed in despair.  I also do believe that he desires to do good in general, but that sometimes he misspeaks or doesn’t fully comprehend the potential impact of what he says.

I value and support everyone’s right to express their thoughts on the most recent interviews, but having read them, I’ve decided that none of the contents fundamentally alter the interpretation that fuels my happy place.

I may be wrong, and the future might show cracks in my foundations, but for now my happy place is standing and providing me some needed shelter from the storms in my daily life.

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12 comments on “My Happy Place

  1. fedoralady says:

    Well said, well said. I think, perhaps, this is part of why I have distanced myself a little from the fandom–me seeing increasing sturm and drang amongst the rank and file. I have a health condition that positively thrives on stress, and a lot of people getting all worked up over seemingly trivial stuff at times and me allowing myself to get worked up, too–well, I can’t afford to do that.

    I have to be able to focus the limited energy I have on what really matters–my family, my community, trying to make a living. Armitage World had always been a refuge from family and personal illness/ decline, money worries and other real life stuff. Somehow, that has changed for me as I approach my eighth anniversary in the fandom–and it makes me a little sad.

    As for Richard, I think he’s a thoroughly nice and well-meaning man who, like the rest of us, makes an occasional blunder. It happens. It ain’t worth obsessing over.

    I wish you all the best, Obscura. I hope you can continue to find those Calgon Moments 😉 with RA. XOXOXO

    • obscura says:

      Thanks Angie! In a perfect world, everyone would be happy, pleasant, polite, etc., but I’ve come to realize that the world is far from perfect and so are the people in it. I can “fix” everyone or make them be who I want them to be…it’s a mission impossible. What I can do is distance myself from general conditions that make me unhappy. That said, if general becomes specific, I’m not afraid to take a stand either.

      I wish the best to you to…I’ve often reflected personally on the evolution of fandom…the ebb and the flow, and every time I do, I remember my early days and how much I enjoyed spending time at your blog. I hope you will continue in whatever capacity suits your current state of affairs…Calgon Moments can be too far and inbetween 🙂

  2. Hariclea says:

    Hope the storms will calm down quickly and that rl will look better soon Big hug on that! And agree with you on the good place. I read and listen and watch him, enjoy and leave what i can’t change. It gives me pleasure and relaxes me but in a mind stimulating way to follow what he does and how he thinks. Nothing has changed so far and i still feel on similar wave lenghts as where i bumped into him in the first place 🙂
    Sending loads of good thoughts your way sounds like you might need them x

    • obscura says:

      It ebbs and flows you know? It’s the stuff I can’t change that is the most maddening to me, and the most dangerous. For now at least, I need to just leave it alone.

      Thanks for your good thoughts – I am easy to placate – I really only need one thing to move in a positive direction to turn my mood around. Here’s hoping that happens this week!

  3. sparkhouse1 says:

    It’s still a happy place for me, I think I’m pretty oblivious to the squalls to pop up. I only read a couple blogs and love them…even the controversies I do come across. I read the comments and consider, but I don’t take any negativity to heart. I’m always amazed and fascinated with the creativity and talent I come across in Armitageworld. The calibre of writing and discussion, the artwork, the gifs, the humour, the fiction, the research, the connections to literature, music, art, history….I have had so much opened up to me in Armitageworld that I never in a million years would have guessed when I first crushed on Mr. A. Ancient Armitage and a couple other places are fun and meaningful to me….I hope you will continue to enjoy doing it because I thoroughly enjoy following.

    • trudystattle says:

      Yes!! I keep focus on the positive aspects of being in this fandom. I’ve learned and laughed lots.

      Obscura – in the turbulence of real life, that happy place can be practically sacred. Maybe that’s why some of the flare-ups get potent.

      I’m with you on keeping it happy, however that works for each of us.

      • obscura says:

        Thanks Trudy – you make a really good point about the sacrosanctity of happy places. I’ve not experienced it first hand and I hope that I never do, but I suppose when the line between my happy place blurs with what someone else might deem out of bounds unhappiness erupts. I keep coming back to the fact that “out of bounds” is an extremely subjective thing, which is why I tend to just leave places where the basic foundation is simply not compatible with mine…there’s just no sense in trying to swim against the stream in those situations. It would be nice if we would all afford each other that consideration. Tomorrow is another day right? (Thanks Scarlett!)

    • obscura says:

      Thanks so much! I have no plans to quit…I can totally relate to the feeling of amazement at the things I’ve found within this fandom. At the end of the day, I can only speak for myself in saying that for me, the good outweighs the flare up of negativity – especially if I can more or less keep those contained and away from my space.

  4. KellyDS says:

    you do what you gotta do in order to keep this rewarding. if some think you’re sticking your head in the sand, so be it. at the end of the day, it’s not about them and it’s not about Richard, it’s about you and what you need. nurture the happiness and enjoyment you get from this thing that we do, protect it. don’t let anyone, friend or foe, harm it. b/c it’s important– you’re important ❤

  5. Guylty says:

    Hear, hear. I am glad to see that there are still some happy places around. Your balanced view is a benchmark for me. I’ll keep pondering 😉

    • obscura says:

      I really do think that the sort of hyperbolic partisanism which has become so common is at the heart of far too many fandom “crises.” If more of us could step back just a little and acknowledge that almost NOTHING in life is purely black or white, “crises” could become conversations. Dum spiro spero… 🙂

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