et alia: So you want to write racy fan fiction? OH THE FEELS!!

I have been having a devil of a time with the last few chapters of my Strikeback fan fic Recovery.  This time it’s not “choreography” or quiet time or plot details, but how to successfully convey “the feels”.  According to,  the term *feels*

feelsWithout giving away any spoilers, my AU story of John Porter and his love interest Lindsey Tate has plowed into some deeply emotional territory, and strangely, although the whole thing comes from my imagination, I’m finding that I’m not immune to it’s tear jerking effect.

Yes, if you must know, I am! *sniffle*

Yes, if you must know, I am! *sniffle*

At the moment, I’m struggling a bit with how to adequately convey the deep emotions of the characters without descending into melodrama.  It’s not for lack of examples of how John Porter emotes.  Richard Armitage has a gift for expressing a wide range of feelings without uttering a single word – so much angst and concern!

How does he do that?

How does he do that?
Screen caps from

I guess there’s no help for it…I’ll just *have* to go back and watch Strikeback again to study these emotional scenes frame by frame for inspiRAtion!  (I should be sobbing through that emotional scene by the weekend!)

Sometimes we all need just a little light…Weekly SpReAd the Love Update

“May it be a light to you in dark places, when all other lights go out.”  ― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

“May it be a light to you in dark places, when all other lights go out.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

Last week was thoroughly suckish for me.  I can’t pinpoint a single source…it was more like a pile up of unbearable levels of minutiae that need to be dealt with – insurance, taxes, 2nd quarter grades, rehearsal schedules, committee meetings, DRAMA, and on, and on and on.  Sometimes life just begins to feel like a dark room…you know there is a way out, but what you don’t know is how many times you’re going to trip, stub your toe, or whack your shin on the way to the door.  It is so easy to get lost without a light to guide us.  This week, light came to me in an unusual form.

As you know, I’ve been working with Jazzbaby to organize the SpReAd the Love kindness campaign.  I can’t tell you how uplifting it is to get a report of a kindness, and this week there was one that made me stop and think.  I have to give you a bit of the back story first…last week I received a kindness report from a donor who would like to remain anonymous:

Edited to preserve the anonymity of the donor...

Edited to preserve the anonymity of the donor…

Stories like this are always heartbreaking, especially when there are young children involved.  I recorded this donation in with our tallies for last week.  On Saturday, the anonymous donor emailed me again to let me know that this young mother of three had lost her battle with cancer.

Edited to preserve the anonymity of all parties...

Edited to preserve the anonymity of all parties…

Nothing can fill the hole that the death of this woman, a wife, a mother, a teacher, has left among those close to her, but I can well imagine that the memory of those children singing in the hospital will be a small ray of light in a dark time.

Stories like this always illuminate things for me too.   This story is terribly sad, but as our donor points out, being witness, even from afar, to an “outpouring of love” can have an unbelievably uplifting effect.  This is just the kind of thing that SpReAd the Love is all about…simply making a difference to someone in some way, like these children and their teachers did for Julie and her family.   Julie’s song is included in this week’s collection of kindesses.

As of today, we are up to 116 kindness donations!  Numerous people who’ve reported kindness have told me what a good feeling it leaves with them…win/win!  If you are interested in participating in the upcoming book challenge, let Jazzy or me know.  If you’re not real keen on writing a reflection, but have a book that has had a lasting impression on you, let me know…we could do a mini interview kind of thing or something.  If you need a place to post the story of your book, contact Jazzy or me, and we’ll hook you up with a host blogger.  Everybody has a book *that* book…what’s yours?

Logo designed by Gisborne's Boy

Logo designed by Gisborne’s Boy

OT: Can we get a “For she’s a jolly good old gal” ?

I still don't think that's enough candles...

I still don’t think that’s enough candles…

She’ll never read this, but I wanted to take a minute to send a little love out into the universe for my Grandma Anna who celebrated her 101st birthday yesterday.  Most days she doesn’t recognize my dad (her son)…but honestly, he’s one of ten, I might get a bit fuzzy on all of them myself…and she doesn’t know me at all anymore, but she gets up everyday, play cards, laughs at jokes, eats her birthday cake with gusto and lives her life.  Tiny herself, she’s always been a sucker for a big handsome man…

I'm pretty sure this one could still tear her attention away from that birthday cake! Photo by Robert Ascroft Courtesy of

I’m pretty sure this one could still tear her attention away from that birthday cake!
Photo by Robert Ascroft