Long time no post…it has been a hellish few weeks of mostly work related drama and I feel like I’ve been run over by a truck that then backed over me again on its way out.
I really try to keep the tone positive here. Armitageworld has brought so much light into my chaos. That lightness is what I usually feel when I’m blogging, but I’ve run into kind of a rough patch lately and it seems to be bleeding into everything. I want to post, and I don’t want to pretend, so here I am.
A 21st century take…
The politics of adulthood are just piling up lately. Most of the time, I can manage the accumulation, but sometimes the reality of a looming career change, growing children, aging parents, an intermittently unemployed spouse, a suckish economy, constant BS at church – yes, at church… et cetera, et cetera, ad infinitum, gets to be more than I can stand.
To add insult to injury, some people feel the need to question the fact that I (and others like me) find some relief from the stresses of daily life in fandom activities. It’s bad enough when people outside the fandom do it, but lately, it’s been a creeping thing within the fandom too – not directed specifically at me, but present nonetheless. I am really starting to detest any sentence that begins with “You should…” It’s usually something to the tune of, “You should find something more worthwhile to do with your time,” or “You should act your age,” or whatever other form of “you’re doing it wrong” sentiment comes to mind.
So I wonder, if looking at pictures like this
- Richard Armitage profile from BAFTA Tea Party in LA
- Photo by Kevin Winter
Image can be viewed at Getty Images by searching Richard Armitage
or watching Richard Armitage’s performances and interviews or listening to him read Venetia helps me to go from this:
to this:
without the aid of drugs or alcohol or any other mood enhancers, how can it be bad, or wrong, or irresponsible or immature or WHATEVER?! Why is it of any concern to anyone but me anyway? Isn’t a certain level of escapism one of the main points of entertainment in the first place?
Thanks for stopping by my pity party…sorry there’s no cake!
Ancient Armitage 
Reblogged this on Me + Richard Armitage and commented:
Amen. This. There’s going to be a new comment policy here soon, and one proviso is that statements of “you’re doing it wrong” will get the poster on moderation. Meanwhile: comments over there, please.
Love the “Hee-haw” reference. How appropriate for a post on a Saturday afternoon, lol 🙂
LOL! Too true…I never got this when my parents made us watch HeeHaw – it is all so clear to me now 🙂
Come here, sister. *bighug* Let’s ignore the “responsible” BOFs together. That is definitely a “should” that you should follow. Positive enjoyment needs no justification.
I don’t pay much attention to the outside world naysayers…they don’t get it until they do. My inner circle has seen the positive change that Armitageworld has brought and are quite supportive. Everyone else? I’m thinking of marketing a “Shut the F up” button along the lines of Staples Easy Button 🙂
That button sounds a great idea.
I’ll be a gogillionaire!
here, here! I may just bake a cake in your honor! ((hugs))
I like chocolate 🙂 (hugs back at you)
There’s no escaping it. Best to accept it and do what you need to. Sorry to hear that you’ve been having a hard time. Hugs!
See, this is the thing. Someone articulates her feelings, and someone jumps in to say, “don’t feel that way about it!” Not helpful, IMO. Delete this if you need to, Obscura.
Personally, when I get this kind of comment I want to quit blogging.
I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to tell her not to feel the way she feels! Just trying to be comforting. I agree that it’s not helpful to tell someone not to feel the way they feel. Disrespectful.
Hugs. 🙂
Sometimes it comes out sideways 🙂
Hugs from here, too. You can waste your time with me any day.
I do that a lot – and have no plans to quit 🙂 Thanks!!
As a long time HeeHaw fan…I can honestly say that the two blogs sporting the clip are the last two I would ever have guessed!! Thanks for the blast from the past.
And rot to all those who can’t just smile benignly and be happy for our happiness.
Thanks CarlyQ! I’m all about pop cultural fluency (that’s what I call my lifetime of accumulated TV knowledge on the cocktail party circuit!)
Same here. I say this stuff is no harm no foul and others who don’t like it well they can look elsewhere can’t they? Hugs available all around. I call this group therapy that always brings smiles all around and that beats alcohol, drugs and any other medicine.
That’s kind of the place I come from…if it’s not for you, fine, but stop harshing my crush – if my husband doesn’t mind, why should any 3rd party? I don’t always like everything I find in Armitageworld, but I mostly just coast past the stuff I don’t like – quid pro quo and all.
I think part of what’s really valuable about this post is the way it distinguishes between “inside” and “outside.” If a stranger criticizes me for being crazy, well, whatever, it’s annoying, but mostly I don’t care about what strangers think. If the criticism comes from inside my support circle, though, particularly after I’ve been really open about something, my reaction is a really different one. It seems to me that the least we can do for each other as fans is stick together. By that I don’t mean, “never disagree” but I do think that we could agree to disagree with each other about substantive issues within the fandom as opposed to criticizing each other’s behavior per se.
As you and I have discussed many times, none of our hands are clean.
Yup…it feels like a 12 step program sometimes. I at least feel like I’m ahead of the curve since I’m of the problem in myself 🙂
I once taught the Lord Mayor of Glasgow, Scotland, the Senator from Nova Scotia and the Delagate from New Zealand who were in a Rolls Royce with me when I was in the Navy getting a tour of Argyle Castle after two bottles of Scotch… it’s a long story…. a common Navy saying. at the time (1979)…excuse the language here…. Fuck ’em if they can’t take a joke. xoxoxox
LOL…words to live by!
I get the point of the story, and I’m happy to tell people whom I don’t care about to get fucked, but it’s a bit harder when it’s someone I know at least a little bit, share an important activity with, and maybe care about beyond that. I’m sure that’s my problem, though 🙂
Maybe we should all run around telling people who deserve it to “F-off”…would certainly cast new light on the notion of the nature of the fandom 😀 (“Well read ladies say WHAT?!”)
Oh, and coincidentally, Obscurus gave me a blanket order to tell him to “f-off” if he ever impedes my writing process! (I totally didn’t see that one coming!)
wow, good for Obscurus. He’s obviously on board!
I always try to be honest about what I’m feeling about myself … I’m trying to think about how the fandom would look after say a month of us telling each other to screw. (Serv screws up her face and thinks …)
Verdun?
the Somme
Yeah probably – that was my first thought, but I didn’t want to overreact 🙂
How about “S’il vous plaît prendre sexe à vous-même.”
I think it’s “Fu toi!” if I remember correctly from the French class they made us take in graduate school. You’re not supposed to use the formal verb form when you’re telling some to go screw … iirc. 🙂
Hugs on people giving you a hard time!
Thanks..I’ll take all the hugs I can get! Welcome 🙂
It creeps into all fandoms. If you’re doing something they aren’t then by G-d one of you is wrong and it can’t be them because…well, because they say so.
Yeah, that is about the level of reasoning I’m having trouble with 🙂
As with any party (aka support group), I always expect at least cookies and coffee, missy! 😉
Since I haven’t been posting on WP for all that long, I have only witnessed some of the posts that you all get from time to time that reflect what you speak of Obscura. Reading from the outside – as I was, and sometimes still am – some of the response comments have often felt like nails on a chalkboard just to read for just such the reason you have given. I can only imagine your own feeling in gauging them and debating on how to respond…or not. So I’m glad you were so good and honest here.
So with that, I’d like to say that I’m with the “I’d really like to tell them to %@!k-off” party when the need occurs. Unfortunately, we all know what can happen with that – ridiculous rants that not only take up your time to respond to, but often change the atmosphere of the party and risking bringing everyone down with the excessive negativity.
So my hope with a blog post like this is that people will get the message – if you don’t like how someone chooses to spend their spare time, or to write, vent, relieve tension, or otherwise celebrate their fandom or source of admiration, then maybe you should do a 180 and walk away.
I have been holding onto a draft post with thoughts on my own fandom participation. I think this is a sign I should post it now.
And P.S. I too have found that listening to Venetia has often been a good fix for the blues.
Yeah, as much as I’d sometimes like to just ask “WTF are you talking about?” I don’t want to ever start an all out war, and things do seem to escalate very quickly from time to time. Hopefully, as you say, someday, everyone will be able to take what they choose and simply walk away from the rest.
LOL, love that. So true. It’s so tempting sometimes, isn’t it? (And in RL too.) Yeah, we can only hope.
Loved the post and all the comments. They will not pry my fandom from my cold dead fingers.Don’t let them (who ever they are). Don’t let them denigrate this sanctuary of fun. giggles, hugs and beautiful fantasies. Not to mention the value of all the informed and civil intellectual discourse that takes place here.May I add my fuck’em to the others. I can throw my crutches at them for you.
Here, here! There is so much to be gained in just the simple joy, but also the vast array of interests that lend to conversations. We’ll all figure it out..,hold onto those crutches for now 😉
Well that come out a bit of a mess, but I think it can be deciphered. 😦
My post, not Kathy’s. 🙂
I got it 🙂
Self-care is something we should never, ever have to apologize for. Period. And yet it’s so easy to be made to feel like we have to.
Here’s hoping the politics of adulthood let up for you sometime soon.
From your lips to…oh, whoever really! I don’t know why kids are in such a hurry to grow up! Being an fault really bites sometimes 🙂
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Hey, whatever it takes to make you happy. It’s a helluva lot cheaper than meds, too. 😉
You can say that again, and it promotes, rather than clouds creativity for me!
What I don’t get is really are we just supposed to be crazy because we are adult women doing this? It is okay for 13 yr old girls to be in a fandom so to speak but not adults? Well too bad is what I say. Support is support and this is a healthy one and a happy one for that matter with,okay I as going to say no dependency and no addiction but well that isn’t exactly true is it, not when talking about Richard so okay maybe a little bit of addiction but it is still a lot healthier than meds and you better believe it is cheaper. I say if they don’t like it then don’t look, well I could use other words but that just isn’t me. We’re happy and that is what matters period.
A little RAddiction never hurt anyone 🙂
I woke up this morning with Obscura-Obscurus–Servetus-Servetine– Guylty-Guyltimus–Arkenstone–uh ?? Orcrist? running through my head. Then I turned over to go back to sleep and ran head long into a cold wet dog nose. He’s not actually allowed on the bed, but Jon (Orcrist) was out so he snuck in and had his head on the pillow. Needless to say, the Arkenstone is a rock this morning.
Fuck them! 🙂 We have our pockeys full of RA ,right? 😉
This is why I love Joanna.
I ❤ U 2 ,Jazzy .
Short and not so sweet…nice!
(((Obscura)))
((((Joanna)))) hugs are awesome!!!
Everyone needs a shot of dopamine and if it is from RA fandom that is fine. I have been playing catch up last night and tonight, so thanks to everyone’s post and comments I have enjoyed a few laughs, nothing wrong with that. Life is stressful enough without people trying to be party poopers on our little party, it’s called a stress reliever in my little world.
That is one of the most rewarding things isn’t it…to just read through some of the comment strands and smile, or laugh – it is just uplifting sometimes.
Party poopers – *giggle* made me think of that little jingle, “Every party has it’s pooper that’s why we invited you…party pooper.” Yes, I’m officially 5!
Hi, Obscura! Don’t listen to them and have fun!
That’s the plan! Welcome, and thanks for commenting!!
Having supervised many a recess at middle school, one of my go-to comments when children were mean to others was, “We don’t lift ourselves up by pushing others down!” What I don’t understand is why are these “haters” (more middle school jargon) looking on these sites if their only purpose is to make fun of people? That certainly says something about their lack of purpose in life. What we are doing in our admiration of Richard is to honor/honour this talented human being. Now I could go into several other, more graphic, descriptions of his “assets”, but I will leave that to each individual who holds Mr. Armitage in high esteem. We all have our favorites.
I don’t really know why it is a compulsion with some people…the notion that “if I’m right, you must be wrong.” I guess I live in a world that has a lot more shades of grey than some 🙂
Assets…oh yes, I definitely have favorites 😉
BTW, thanks for the reference to “a pity party”. My mom used to say that a lot. She was a single parent of eight children. You made me smile.
It’s an oldie but a goodie!
I’ve noticed that the righteous f*ckery of people who think they have a moral high ground on how to admire/fangirl/spend your time comes and goes in waves. It usually happens when we are experiencing a drought, although as you’ve mentioned you feel it now too.
All I can say is you shouldn’t doubt yourself, your choices of what you choose to do and how you choose to do it. Do what makes you happy and is in accordance to what feels right to you!
These people come and go, you need to wait them out. Sometimes it’s unpleasant, sometimes just mean and hurtful, but the thing to remember is that it’s not you, it’s them. It’s their crap they are projecting onto you. But, I have to underline, it has nothing to do with you!
Thanks Agzy! Most of the time, I can shrug it off…I think there has just been a kind of perfect storm of pecking going on in all my worlds that has left me feeling a bit beleaguered. This too shall pass 🙂
Thanks so much everyone for indulging me in my weekend detour into “Gloom, despair and agony on me…” It’s amazing what the combined effect of one thing going right and a room full of goofy 4 and 5 year olds making finger puppets and an outpouring of solidarity can be! Now let’s all link arms and sing “We Shall Overcome.” 😀
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