OT: Inappropriate dinner conversation round 2…

Sometimes I sit at the dinner table with my kids and wonder, “Who’s responsible for these kids?!”  Oh right, that would be me!  Allow me to set the scene.  Sunday afternoons in the summer often find me at my parents’ house.  My kids love to hang out with their grandparents, and especially love Grandma and Grandpa’s pool in the summer.   Our house was the neighborhood hangout when my sister and I were kids.  We lived outside of town, and why trek over hill and dale to the community human stew – er, I mean pool, when we could swim in the back yard.  No brainer for us and all of the neighborhood kids.  There has been a pool at my parents” house for 35 years now – every so often my dad rumbles about getting rid of it, but I think that he secretly likes having people take him up on the open invitation to “come out and swim.”

If I play my cards right, an afternoon of swimming often turns into dinner…my dad also loves to cook, and doesn’t know how to cook for less than a battalion.  There’s always enough for everyone, especially if my daughter has been dropping “subtle” hints since church about what she wants for supper.  So, like many other Sunday’s, we sit down to eat.  Here’s the typical arrangement:

The relative size of Mini Me's space reflects the fact that even though she's the smallest, she demands the most space!

The relative size of Mini Me’s space reflects the fact that even though she’s the smallest, she demands the most space!

So far so good, the meal proceeds without incident apart from the resident space invader constantly bleeding across into my area to alert me that she needs something cut or passed to her.  We are finishing up, Dad and Mini Me have left the table and #1 Son has begun taking dishes to the sink when I hear my sister start wheezing and look over to see her shoulders shaking as she gasps for breath saying, ” ‘Nice phallic meal‘  he says.”  Evidently #1 Son made an in sotte voce editorial comment about the menu of corn on the cob and bratwurst as he passed by her on his way to the sink.

So he's not wrong, but c'mon!!

So he’s not wrong, but c’mon!!

Do other peoples’ kids talk like this?  Is it normal that a soon to be 15 year old high school freshman even knows the word phallic, much less uses it in the proper, albeit questionably appropriate, context?  It’s probably my fault for talking about ancient culture too much!  I will own that we have pretty open dialogue policy in our house…not much is out of bounds topically, although I do try to keep conversations to an age appropriate level around Mini Me….however, since she seems to be a 26 year old woman living in an 8 year old girl, I’m constantly challenged.

Part of the problem, I think, is that my kids seem to have inherited some irresistible impulse to instigate mayhem.  They know what acceptable boundaries are, but they are constantly inspired to cross them and see what happens…ask me about the time Mini Me dropped the F-bomb on Christmas Eve…they know better, they just go ahead and do it anyway.  One thing is certain, even when dinner conversation is more tame – this past Sunday included monkeys and their disposable thumbs and the average weight of adult giraffes (1600-1800 lbs) – life is rarely boring chez moi!

19 comments on “OT: Inappropriate dinner conversation round 2…

  1. Priceless! I remember a million years ago when I was a 15, My 2 yo nephew ran into a bench.and unfortunately immediately grabbed his “as I called it his pee pee.” Hey give me a break, I was 15 it was in the 70s. He stood up, looked me dead in the eye and said in his most manly voice, “It’s only a PENIS Aunt Deb.” We were in a pizza restaurant at the time. I could never go back there. I don’t think I ever forgave my sister.

  2. kelbel75 says:

    my kids, who are roughly the same age as yours, have inherited my sarcasm. it was fun to be sarcastic when they didn’t understand what was being said, now not only do they understand but they throw it back at me; I’ve created little witty sarcastic monsters! they do regularly make me laugh, though 😉

    • obscura says:

      Yes, there is a certain amount of “nut not falling far from the tree” going on here. They also seem to suffer from hereditary MHLWS (Must Have Last Word Syndrome) which I think is dominant in the gene pool on both sides 🙂

  3. Leigh says:

    Better well-read, articulate, witty monsters with a sense of humour than dull-as-ditchwater kids with bovine stares who just want to run away and play video games. When it was just my daughter and me, no subject was off limits, although we maintained respect for one another’s digestive processes.

    • obscura says:

      Amen…I have told them that they are not allowed to refer to people as “mouth breathing troglodytes” even if said persons are mouth breathing troglodytes. (I don’t know where they hear such things – *humming an innocent tune* )

      My side of the family tends to have strong stomachs, their father, not so much. It’s become a running joke that someone at the table will always mention something that grosses him out – it’s not always the kids either 🙂

  4. Servetus says:

    This is what the ancient heritage does for one’s children 🙂

    • obscura says:

      I can’t wait until they start debating the relative merits of pederasty over dessert! I suppose I have that coming 🙂

      • Servetus says:

        yes, you cultural relativist, you. I was 16 before I learned what a phallic symbol was — I was on the high school band trip to the Yucatan and we were looking at some temple or other at Chichen Itza and I asked the tourguide what he was talking about … embarassing moment …

        • obscura says:

          Can’t have my cake and eat it too :).

          Among my family, they are in safe territory for their unfiltered conversation…I’m interested to see what would happen if we take this circus on the road. I guess the “see what happens” urge is hereditary too!

  5. katie70 says:

    So I had to find out if my almost 14 1/2 year old freshmen had an idea of the word in question, I had him come down look at the word. No he did not but I would not be surprised if he don’t look it up with the look on his face ( now I would what does that mean). After all this is my bookworm, now working on his first book.

    Son1 was always good with words when he was little, big words that someone his age would not think would know, but to use them the right way in a sentence too. No one would think to hear what he was saying, so cute.

    • obscura says:

      It’s a good word…just not one that’s in regular usage in the realm of teenage boys I think. I suppose this is ironic give the amount of energy they devote to “phallic” activities at that age – *la, la, la, la* I do not want to acknowledge this!! 🙂

  6. phylly3 says:

    LOL. That is what we had for supper tonight (my son did the cooking!). I won’t be able to see those foods in the same way again!
    My family also has quite interesting dialogue around the dinner table. No subject is off limits. 😀

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